Lessons Learned

• Being dismissive of other people's issues pushes them away. Why would they continue sharing problems with you if every time they do, you tell them there are other things they should worry about? Just because you feel the issue is trivial doesn't mean it's mundane to the troubled person as well. Because if it were, said person wouldn't have felt the need to share it with you.
• In this postmodern world, truth is already relative. Consequently, the idea of truthfulness has also become relative. Take people's words with a grain of salt, unless you're ready to feel betrayed.

Learning curve

Learning takes time. Even experts started as beginners.

In your face 2.0

I have brilliant students. Just. Wow.

can we not discuss OMG

I'm still in page 4 wow

When you feel like giving up, recall why you started in the first place.

said by MsYo Man

kkkk

I love citation kk

wow I hate smart students

HAHAHAHA

To make my argument strong, I carefully examined my replies to you

as matured critical thinker

kk

kkk, everything from AP English

thanks for your teaching ms

Witty banter never fails to brighten my day.

Indebted

When you feel like giving up, recall why you started in the first place.

Dejected because of some students' sense of responsibility and accountability, I asked myself why I even put up with this. The "baby teacher" (Magbotay, 2013) I once was would have thrown a hissy fit after what happened, but as I'm now several emotional roller coasters away from that person, I didn't. Instead, I went back to my comfort zone--beats me why I even call it that--and doubted myself once again.

***

I don't know what to do with students who can't explain, even just to themselves, why they go to school or how schoolwork is relevant in their lives. They are the ones who refuse to read assigned texts or submit necessary requirements (promptly or otherwise). They don't mix well with teachers like me: people who set the bar high and push others to reach those expectations because they believe students are capable of achieving them.

***

I had considered not worrying about students who didn't care about their studies, but knowing myself, I remembered that not minding them would affect those dedicated to their pursuit of excellence. While irresponsible students deserve what's coming to them if they didn't change their ways, I shouldn't let them set the mood of my classes. Heck, I shouldn't let them dictate what I should feel about teaching.

Because they are not the only students I have. I have willing writing workshop participants. Grade 6 students, despite their level of experience, shared their insights during yesterday's session. One even said he felt like a teacher since he checked his classmates' essays and was given the opportunity to share his thoughts to the rest of the class. Based on their comments, I can tell that the students have a good grasp of basic grammar (so kudos to their former teacher).

I also have energetic group workers. I rarely have the chance to follow my CPG and ask my motivation questions because some students are overly eager (zealous?) to do the tasks at hand. Sometimes, they even ask if they could modify the group activities to make them more challenging.

Lastly, I have opinionated "citizen rhetors" (Brassil, 2012) who look forward to critiquing their peers' essays because it's a chance to "make fun of the authors." HAHA! Everyone in the class is a good sport, and their humor is contagious.

I owe it to these kids to not give up or forget why I'm here.

Afloat

It's 1:44AM, but I can't sleep. Thank you Fahrenheit 451, The Graveyard Book.

I just need to write these down.

• I can't afford to fail. One of my students has expressed, more often than expected, how much he loves our class. In addition to the honesty I feel in his words, his passionate answers and hearty chuckles during discussions reassure me that he does enjoy the course. My only fear is that he grows to dislike it because of my failure to live up to his expectations.
• I have a penchant for sticking with troubled guys. Yes, guys. I have a set of favorite students whom others feel are unlikely candidates for such sentiments. They all seem to have a blatant disregard for rules. And despite my fondness, none of them has gotten a relatively high grade from me. HAHA! One is a bully; another has been suspended for inappropriate behavior; two sleep in class. It must be the messiah complex or the motherly instinct in action. I don't know; my gut tells me they're just misunderstood. And every time we get to talk, my hope gets renewed (only to be stolen moments or days after kk).
• I've become the teacher I used to hate. I give a lot of work. I'm strict with (requirements and) deadlines. My reputation (will you look at that!) precedes me--I scare students often without my trying. I push people, sometimes away, sometimes to give their best and not settle for less than what they are capable of. I'm getting old.
  
  Now is the time to sleep. Bye.